Thursday, August 9, 2007

The New New Look

On Sunday, I shaved my head. Depressed by messy hair loss, I decided that being bald had to be be better. And, I wanted to see the oversized occipital bone that has made it nearly impossible for me to wear most women's hats. It is very impressive, but I don't think it looks out of proportion with the rest of my enormous head. I also have a dent on the top back of my skull, approximately where one of the fontanelles, or soft unclosed spots found on infant skulls, is located. Mom, any idea? If you dropped me on my head, all is forgiven. It would explain a lot of things, actually.





I can't remember what this wig was called, but from now on it will be referred to as "Elisa, Jr." It has too much hair on it, and I think it looks like a freaking wig. But the real problem is that it's August out there, and wigs and Chicago heat and humidity do not mix. I've been wearing a scarf to work, when I'm not sticking my bald head into a colleague's office just for a reaction shriek. Showing up for meetings bald is fun, as well. It really speeds the agenda along.

9 comments:

Llalan said...

I am ashamed of this country. And while being that I am of a certain generation and of your family so this happens several times daily, today I am most chagrined. I discovered that all the readily available information about bald women on the internet is directly related to Miss Britney Spears. (http://www.wiw.org/~jess/archives/2007/02/19/eight-bald-women/) I, too, love the occasional dig at her expense, but please, leave her alone and celebrate the contours and lumps of beautiful women's heads for what they are. Beautiful. But here I should also note, dear aunt, that you look way better bald than Britney Spears. 10 out of 10, I'd say. (You have a spectacular profile and an elegant neck.) Shock may register on other's faces upon first seeing you, however it is not only the new and unexpected bald head, but also this recently discovered raw beauty. You look amazing.

boyd said...

You have inspired me. Given that we are blood and that I can never get a woman's hat to fit my head either....okay....never really tried, though my noggin is way too large for Amish farmer hats or baseball caps without the ugly plastic sizer strip...I am considering naked headedness too. Think of the hours of maintenance time I'd save.

As for the unexpected dent....well let's blame Kathleen, though I'm sure I did my share of baby mishandling as well. All my mishandling was due to clumsiness...with absolutely no malicious intent.

The Fifty Foot Blogger said...

Blogger cut off that web address, Llalan--lets see if i have better luck with tinyurl. The title is "Eight Women Who Look Better Bald Than Britney"
http://tinyurl.com/2rwlqs

And thanks for the compliments (especially Llalan!), although I'd like to note that due to genetics, both of you share a strong physical resemblance to me. Biased?

John said...

Hey Cousin....Compliments? Uhhhhh What Llalan said....

I also have the large head and am working on the (Bald look) Thinking of George Carlin "Ya want to be bald? Do what I did...Wait." This large head thing must be a paternal trait. I dont know about your father, But I can safely say my father had the large head. I love your CTA stories...You could publish them. ;>)

The Fifty Foot Blogger said...

Cuz, The ginormous head does appear to be a paternal trait.

I think from now on, wide-angle lenses are required for all family reunions.

Dunsurfin said...

I was looking for an inspired image of Ellen Ripley / Sigourney Weaver (my hero) to demonstrate that the shaved head look is both strong and sexy. I came across this page that I hope will put a smile to your face:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=62590074&blogID=235145428

My sister shaved her head whilst a student at a Catholic school. Was almost expelled for doing so. I felt proud of her and extremely annoyed at the school.

The Fifty Foot Blogger said...

D-
Bravo on your sister...almost getting expelled from Catholic school is sort of a badge of honor, especially for such a silly thing.

nandorocker said...

You look great with and without the wig. When you're done with the cancering you should have your hair cut like that as well.

The Fifty Foot Blogger said...

nando-you're my Self Esteem Angel. I was going to say "Fairy," but I'm not sure how that goes down in Brazil.